Celebrating Our Oneness While Honoring Our Differences

Having published my first book this year, I was encouraged to establish a website as well. As I gathered together the pieces of my life and the various hats I wear, I found it challenging to organize them into a presentation that would make sense. My website guy said I needed to come up with a phrase to appear in a banner that would tie the various pages and themes together. When I found it, I made more sense to myself than I ever had before. I realized that the bottom line of all the personal and professional work I do is about the process of learning to celebrate our oneness while honoring our differences.

It's been a few months now and when I was invited to write this article, I thought it was a great opportunity to explore this concept further. Whether I am functioning in the role of minister, coach, counselor, or business consultant, my focus is always on the quality of human relationships - how we choose to be with one another. For indeed, it is a matter of choice. Unfortunately, most of us spend so much time on autopilot going through the routines of our daily lives that we are not consciously aware of the choices we are making when we are making them. We keep doing the same old thing and getting the same old results. So the first key on the path to this lofty yet fundamental ideal is awareness. As we learn to stay present in our consciousness, we become more aware that we are making choices all the time and we become more conscious of the ramifications of the choices we are making - particularly those we make in relationship to others.

Awakening our social consciousness comes more naturally to some of us rather than others, whether it be merely the ability to perform simple acts of kindness like pausing to allow another car to pull out in front of us or the more global awareness of our oneness with all of humanity and all sentient beings. This balancing perspective beyond our own little world of needs and wants is crucial to creating an environment where loving, caring, and sharing can thrive.

The second key to celebrating our oneness while honoring our differences is to expand our comfort zones to include the needs and wants of others whom we do not perceive to be "just like us". Consider the image of two overlapping faces with one shared eye. Each has his or her own unique perceptions as well as shared perceptions. Recognizing this as our reality in all our relationships is essential.

A visual depiction of two overlapping faces with one shared eye.

So often, we make the mistake of assuming that others perceive as we do when in fact that is never exactly true. Each one of us has our own singular set of filters to our perceptions that determine how we will experience ourselves, others and the events in our lives. We must always allow for the otherness as well as the sameness. For example, when we come out of a movie together and one of us is raving ecstatically about the film and the other mildly enjoyed it, there is no need for one to convince the other that his or her point of view is right. Rather, this path calls for allowing both experiences to peacefully coexist. This is true with political differences as well. When I hear passionate debates, I often find myself wondering how to get the two sides to see the greater picture that both views need to be incorporated in any satisfactory solution. Either/or, win/lose models simply suppress the energy of the opposition temporarily and postpone really effectively dealing with the situation. Expanding our compassion to truly caring about the well being of others, especially those with whom we experience strong differences, enables us to gain altitude in our consciousness that touches into a oneness far more precious than sameness or "taking care of our own". By doing so, we give ourselves the gift of greater knowledge of the presence of the Beloved in our lives.

When I was teaching Social Problems in a local college, I remember being appalled when I came across the fact that over 20% of the chemicals we export are banned for use within the U.S. I remember wondering why we would sell chemicals that are harmful to humans and the environment. And, of course, the only possible answer was choosing money over humanity. Pardon me if my politics are hanging out here, but this is the sort of social decision that really disturbs me. We are in danger of living lives like hamsters running mindlessly in our wheels, unless we wake up and really take account of the quality of our personal, professional, social and global relationships. Thus, the third key is accountability which involves taking the high road of deliberately choosing that which will bring forward the highest good of all concerned.

Essentially, what is involved to get from wherever we are to the place inside our consciousness where our natural inclination is to celebrate oneness and honor differences is to choose into the journey and practice, practice, practice. As we gain altitude in our consciousness, we find ourselves making new and more creative choices that balance the well being of others with our own interests. There is a momentum that builds in this process as the willingness to do creates the ability to do. We find ourselves judging and rejecting each other less as we practice loving, caring, and sharing with those near and dear to us, with anonymous strangers and store clerks, colleagues at work, and others we encounter in our daily lives. We also find ourselves caring more profoundly for those millions who suffer from disease, malnutrition, ignorance, and the many other effects of our global greed until we are driven to take action on their behalf. Each of us casts our vote for the quality of the world we live in thousands of times each day by the choices we make. Ignorance, greed, denial and mindlessness truly are no excuses. We all have the opportunity to be more loving, kind, compassionate, and caring and the rewards these behaviors yield are more precious than anything money can buy. Every parent wants a world that is safer and kinder for his or her children. So, let's all do our part to create a world where we teach children by example how to go for the goodness that lies within them, to take the high road and reap the reward of truly celebrating our oneness while honoring our differences through the small and enormous choices we make each day.

Reverend Judith Johnson is an ecumenical minister ordained in 1985 and living in Rhinebeck, N.Y. Her new book, The Wedding Ceremony Planner: The Essential Guide to the Most Important Part of Your Wedding Day is a comprehensive, step-by-step handbook for designing heartfelt, spiritual, and personalized wedding ceremonies. In addition to her ministry, she is a social psychologist maintaining a private counseling practice and serves as an executive coach and consultant for entrepreneurial and corporate clients. Judith is currently working on a second Doctorate in Spiritual Science focusing on the issue of trust in the divine, our selves, and each other. Her website is www.judithjohnson.com.

Back to Articles